An insight provided by my brother

A few years ago my brother came to stay with me for a week, he has stayed before, but usually with the rest of the family, this time he came alone, I am 12 years older than my brother Matt (I use his real name as I have two brothers and don’t want to get him confused with the other for future stories). My mother got remarried and had more children (or issue as she lovingly refers to us) long story and not that relevant at this time.

Now whilst visiting Matty, who was around 18 at the time, spent almost 24 hours a day rotating between playing games on my PC and watching cable TV. He did however, emerge for the odd meal. I was at work during the day so I didn’t really mind, but I made him come out and talk to me at night.

I, as the responsible adult asked him one of these days if he had any washing as I was putting on a load. He looked at me and said:

“Yep Nord (OK, he used my real name) could you wash my trackkies for me”. I was happily about to take them when he proceeded to tell me why they needed washing. I still laugh when I think this story. This is what he told me………

“Nord, I peed on them when I went to the toilet”.

I looked at him, “Huh?” and refused to touch them in light of this new information.

“Well, I woke up this morning with a piss fat and when I went to the toilet I couldn’t aim straight and I peed down my leg”.

“A piss fat?” Oh boy, I had to ask, didn’t I?

“Yeah, you know when you wake up with a bone because you really need to go”. (I just loved his grasp on the English language).

To be honest I didn’t know, not only because I am not a man, but because I had never been told, but this was enough to make me start laughing and I didn’t stop for some time. I made him put his own pants in the machine and I washed them for him, I am such a nice sister. The moral here, when you wake up with your boy and think he’s happy to see you, he may just need to pee….