Water level

Ok today I was talking to a friend about going to the toilet (I don’t know why – it just kinda slipped into the convo). The etiquette involved the type of paper we used (didn’t actually get into wiping styles – thank god – some thing should probably remain a mystery, you know).

But it reminded me of a funny story and I shared it, and I will do the same with you. It is based on the differences of the toilets between the United States and Australia. Let me explain, in Australia the toilet has water that covers only the very bottom of the bowl, maybe 10 cms depth tops (and yes we have a dual flush on our toilets – well some of them, the half flush (for number ones) and normal flush (for number twos)).

Now from my few trips to the states I have come to realise that the toilets there are full of water, almost to the top. A daunting proposal for someone who is from the land of Oz. I looked in the bowl and tried to work out that if I sat down, would the water actually touch my ass. Of course this is ridiculous but the water does look pretty close to the top, especially with what I (and every other Australian) is used to.

So anyhow here is where the story begins. I remember being in the States with my family (yes the whole fam all 6 of us, mum, my step dad, brother, brother, sister and I). And my little sis, who was about 6 or 7 at the time taking a dump, dropping off a package, choking a grogan, whatever. Now because of her age and the fact that we were in a motel room, I am 99.9% sure that the bathroom door was open. As a matter of fact this is a horrible trait of all the women in my family (with the exception of me that is – ok I do leave the door open but only in my own home).

So anyway, 7’s in there for a bit and stinking up the room (I think at this stage someone may have closed the door and put on the exhaust fan in the bathroom – and said something derogatory (this goes without saying in my family)) and then 7 shrieks out and calls everyone in for a look. And what do we do? Well we all go in to look, of course. And what do we see? The longest turd you have ever seen, I would have been at least a meter or so long and due to the high water level there was no breakage, it was truly something to behold, and from someone so little (I kept glancing at 7 to make sure she wasn’t going to pass out from the lack of fluids or whatever). I was on the verge of calling out to mum to bring in a camera to capture this truly Kodak moment, but I did resist. I called the parents in anyhow to have a look. 7 was congratulated on her form and the fine specimen was flushed away, the flushing tearing it to pieces in the process, oh well.

Now this was only such an anomaly for us (being from Oz), as with the low level of water here and with the effect of gravity from the fall to the water (and the subsequent splashing)we never have anything like this, the breakage is relatively rapid and you end up with multiple parties in the bowl. And yes as there is no water filling the bowl, the chances of smears (or skids as they are referred) is actually quite high unless you are properly centred. But after 33 years I am well practiced and don’t have any issues to date. So anyway, this is my tale for the day; sorry about the level of where it sits (kind of in the gutter I would think) but oh well I hope it brought a smile.