The call

I don’t have caller ID on my phone or an answering machine, so if the phone rings, I will answer it. I don’t have too much of a problem with telemarketers as I am at work in the day and if they do call I am pretty quick to say I am not interested, but that is not what this story is about.

My nana (grandmother) calls me to have a “chat”, every few weeks, I have called her once in the last six months, I always tell her I will call her, she always tells me that I always say that and before a reasonable amount of time (sometimes the phone is still warm from the last call) she will call again and she always feels the need to tell me that I never call.

So this one time (at band camp – he he, sorry couldn’t help myself), she calls me. Now my nana is 75, my pop (grandfather) passed away some 10 years ago so nana is lonely and misses him. So she calls the family and talks at them for absolutely hours. Yes I did say at. I’m not sure if it is just my nan that does this, but she is the only person I know who does it to me.

She will call and talk non stop for the 3 hour (or longer depending on your luck) duration of the call, as long as I slip the occasional, oh, yes, sure in there she is good to go. It’s come to a point where I don’t really listen to what she says anymore, I used to, I used to for years, but she tends to repeat the same stuff over and over again and she takes a story that she has heard about another family member and twists this story into something unrecognisable from the real thing. An example for you, my grandmother argued with me for half an hour saying that my cousin was going to Uni in Canberra to study music (well audio engineering, actually) now I know this is not true as it is my brother who is doing this, I courteously tell her this and she starts to argue with me, now I know I am right and I give up the fight pretty quickly, what’s the point - she wont stop and thinks she’s right and will argue the point with me until she begins to turn blue.

Anyway now you know a little what she is like, here is a quick tale. Nan called me one night to update me on all the family stories (stuff I already knew, nana tells these stories over and over again – and my mum keeps me updated – my family hassles my mum telling her she will be like nan one day – makes me think that maybe one day I will be too, its not a comforting though). But back to the tale. My nana ring me this night, oh lets say Tuesday, talks to me for the traditional 3 hours, I didn’t get to see the movie I wanted to as I was listening to the call. I finally tell her I have to work the next day and that I have to go, so I say good bye, she spends a further half hour doing the wrap up and I once again remind her I have to go. Finally she does and I go to bed.

So the next night, what happens? I get a phone call, no caller ID but I am pretty sure it’s not nana because I spoke with her yesterday, so I grab the handset and… oh my god, it’s nana, again. Hey nan, is everything OK? She assures me all is well and goes into a complete rerun of last nights conversation, now I have heard all of this stuff many times before but usually I get a grace period where I can once again build up a tolerance to it and be ready for it all over again. But in the day between calls I haven’t had a chance to do this. I start with the yes you told me, yes you have told me that too, this though I find doesn’t usually stop the telling she just gets pissed with you and continues on. But after I have done this 5 or 6 times she snaps and has a go at me. So I say to her, nana you called me yesterday and told me all this. She hesitates just for a moment, something quite unusual for her, and then denies it! I try to convince her otherwise but now I am pissed off too, so eventually I let it go – she continues with the remaining time to once again to balance it out to be a three hour call, I eventually get her off the phone, thank her for ringing (I always do) tell her I will give her a call (I always do that too) she tells me I am full of shit and I never call (shit she may even be right about that – I say I will in my mind but I don’t think I do – I always call for her birthday and Christmas though!) and I go to bed, if the phone rings the next day I’m not going to answer it!(thinking back, I’m pretty sure she didn’t ring).