Mosquitoes – Mans deadliest enemy

Last week was a short week here, well work wise anyhow (I guess if you look at it too analytically all weeks are seven days – so there is never really a short week - ha ha). And Monday being a public holiday I didn’t have to drag my lazy ass back to work until Tuesday. So I awaken after my brief holiday stint (I had the 3 days off between Christmas and New Year), get up not only not refreshed and ready to go to work for another year but my eye wont open properly, yes only one, the right one if it is important to know.

So I’m thinking crazy stuff right, a bit of a “what the” situation. So I drag myself to the bathroom for the normal morning cleansing and catch a look at myself in the mirror. And what do I see (other than my normal radiant beauty of course). My eye is swollen almost closed (right one if you didn’t catch that a few sentences back). Looks a bit like someone gave me a good wallop but without any bruising whatsoever.

Now I have the quandary, to work or not to work…. So being the keen employee I am I decide not to after all I may have some crazy new disease. Now this presents another problem, to not go to work the day after a public holiday requires a medical certificate, you know a “Nord was unable to attend work today as she was sick” from the doctor. So because my doctor didn’t open til after 9 am and the chances of getting an appointment the day you call are slim to none, I called the I have no money and don’t have to pay medical centre. The only problem with this is it’s a first come first serve basis, now I called at 8am asked about the wait time (which was already an hour). And then asked if I could come down put my name down and go home and come back in an hour, which I was told I could. They won’t take appointments you have to go down to the centre.

So anyway off I go half blind in the car and it has just started to rain (this has relevance later in the story). So I’m driving along, the roads kinda slippery, I’m driving too fast (as usual) but made it to the medical centre without incident – almost… so I am driving along and see the medical centre on my right (we drive on the left hand side of the road to avoid confusion for the next bit) as I am on a majorish road it has a median strip and it has no break so I have to drive up to the roundabout another block up so I can go around and come back on the right (well left) side of the road so I can get into the medical centre.

So as I come up to the roundabout (it’s a give way to your right scenario) I think (oh so wrongly) that nothing is coming so slow a little but not to a stop, then I see the car, the one I have to stop and give way to barrelling onto the roundabout and I hit the breaks, only for my car to NOT grip on the road in the rain and to begin to slide toward the round about… or it would have if my tyre hadn’t hit the median strip (which is what caused this hassle to start with) and I bounced off, and to a stop, thank God. But all this activity was accompanied with those very pretty screeching noises of an accident, but thankfully there was no bang at the end. So what did I do? I think I muttered some profanity under my breath, tried to calm my breathing and heart rate, and then continued on my (5 second) journey as though nothing had happened.

So now that I had safely arrived I went in to be put next in line (after the hundreds who were already there) to have the receptionist say to me “So you have a sore eye” – oh my God, what gave it away? The fact that if it was any bigger it would have poked into you even though I’m standing over a meter away? Anyhow, I digress, I get my name put down I confirm the wait (yes still an hour) and I tell her I am going and will be back in an hour. So off I go and I get home without incident. I get an ice pack put it on my eye (yes with a cloth I am not a total spaz) and lie on my bed until its time to return. Now little did I know that this ice pack would have a significant effect on the swelling and reduce it by more than half, but it was still a little swollen so I should still be ok to get the certificate, so off I go back. I go to the desk and tell them I am back, the wait has increased (surprise, surprise) so I sit down to wait, in a darkened corner (well ok it was just an alcove but it’s my story) to avoid all ridicule (I have read the hunchback of Notre Damme). Now after I have been sitting there a further 15 minutes a lady with 2 young girls sits opposite me, now the older of the 2 girls about 5ish starts to whisper to her mother while pointing at me and I give the little girl the death stare (with couldn’t have been pretty with the eye) and she stops half was through her sentence and as her mother is preoccupied she doesn’t really pay attention to the little girl. This is the reason I sat here to start with, to avoid all that crap, I wasn’t sending out “come join me” invitations.

Anyhow another 15 minutes and I poke around in my handbag for a little mirror (honestly as a girl this is one of the best things I could ever have bought – except it has a magnified side – DAMN some things you just don't need to see that close). Anyway I look at my eye now to see the swelling has once again significantly reduced. So now paranoia sets in, what am I going to say to the doc when I finally get to see him and the swelling is gone? As I mentioned I called in to work and with the public holiday I needed a certificate no matter what. Umm… very interesting going in and saying to the doc… “Well doc you wouldn’t believe it but when I got up my eye was swollen closed, but because you spazs have taken over 4 hours to see me (ok maybe not all of that time was their fault but close) my eye has completely gone down – so umm yeah… any chance of a certificate?”

But as luck would have it, thankfully I was the next person called, I went in to see the doc, Nathan (who incidentally introduced himself twice to me in a two sentence period – I can see why he doesn’t have his own practice) and also my eye was still a little swollen and red. So anyhow he poked around a bit, told me it wasn’t infected and he diagnosed me with a – da da da daaaaa “mosquito bite” he said it should be completely gone by the following day, he gave me certificate and said I did the right thing, he said you should never take risks with your eyes (which I guess is a valid point). So I went home put the ice pack back on and slothed around for the rest of the day, shortly after I had finished at the doc the swelling was pretty much gone anyhow.

Mosquitos bad - unless of course you want a day off.